Charlie's Prayer
by froggirl80
Summary: Rose comforts Charlie as he struggles with his guilt and grief over the missing Claire. Rose calls upon her own pain of losing her husband and mentions her strong faith in God. She encourages him to dig up his forgotten Catholic faith and pray for Clair
1. Default Chapter

Charlie sat by the fire, feeling the warmth of the flames. It was getting cold and he extended his hands to warm up when he saw his left hand, which he had always placed adhesive tape and written his thoughts on. However, only one letter was left, the E on his index finger when it all came back to him. It had been two days since Charlie had experience the worst situation he had ever placed himself in. Charlie closed his eyes as he tried to remember the events but all he remembered was screaming.

"HELP ME!!! PLEASE HELP ME!!!" he recalled the screaming. It was Claire's voice. Charlie and Claire were walking back to the caves. Claire had been having terrible nightmares that someone was trying to harm her unborn baby. Jack, the doctor, had felt that the dreams were hallucinations that expectant mom usually have but Claire knew differently. So did Charlie. The two Brits had bonded since their place crashed on a beautiful but remote island on the Pacific. Charlie had convinced Claire to move to the safe caves, he even wrestled up some imaginary peanut butter, a craving of Claire's, so she can go to the caves. After Claire began having the nightmares, Charlie promised her that he would watch over her; he even said he would stay awake all night while she slept. When Claire had another nightmare and an argument with Jack, who suggested that she take some sedatives, she bolted for the beach and Charlie ran after her. Charlie tried to convince her to come back but in the midst of refusing and convincing Charlie of her sanity, Claire began to experience labor pains as as result of the stress. Charlie ran to get Jack but ran into another guy, Ethan, and told him to get Jack. Ethan, who seemed nice, said he would get Jack. Charlie ran back and held Claire's hand as she braced herself for more labor pains. Charlie stayed by her side until the pains went away. Claire's labor was false and Charlie flashed his handsome smile and said in his soft British accent, "Breathing Emergency Averted, I told you I'd take care of you." Claire thanked him, flashing her own soft smile. The two looked at each other with gratitude and maybe even a hint of love. Then, the two walked back to the caves. Claire felt the baby kick and encouraged Charlie to feel the baby. Charlie could remember feeling the baby move, it was so amazing to feel another body move inside another. However, their joy was turned to fear when they saw Ethan, standing there, looking creepy. The next thing Charlie knew, he heard Claire screaming, "HELP ME!!" Charlie, who was on the ground, was about to get up and follow the noise when someone hit him over the head. Then, everything went dark. Charlie didn't know what happened. Jack and Kate had found Charlie hanging on a tree, blindfolded, no breath, no heartbeat. Tearfully, Kate told Charlie how Jack frantically administered CPR to Charlie. After minutes of no response, Jack made a last, desperate attempt by hitting Charlie's chest, in a viligent effort to start Charlie's heart. Miraculously, Charlie came back to life. His heart may have been beating again but his memory wasn't working. No matter how hard he tried, Charlie couldn't remember what happened to Claire and it was killing him inside. He had never felt so much guilt or sadness. And those feelings were beginning to creep their way into his heart and his eyes. Soon, the tears that he had held inside were beginning to fall down his cheeks. He didn't even bother to brush them away, he just let them come down his cheeks, into his beard, and fall on his hands where he saw the E and felt all that sadness come to him. Then, he felt a surge of pain come from his stomach. Then, the surge became unbearable and he screamed. "Auggh!! Help me, please!!" More tears came down as Charlie doubled over in pain. In his desperation, he called, "God, help me! Please God!"

Soon, Kate and Jack ran over and saw Charlie in pain. Kate held Charlie in her arms as Jack lifted up Charlie's black shirt.

"Aww, man," said Jack, as he examined Charlie's stomach.

"What's wrong?" asked Charlie, through his tears. "What's the matter with me?"

Jack looked with guilt. "You have bruises on your ribs from when I gave you CPR. It seems that some of ribs are broken." He lightly pressed his fingers on Charlie's stomach.

"OWW!" yelled Charlie as he winced and clutched his stomach. "Mate, what the bloody hell?" he demanded.

"Sorry, I'm sorry, pal," Jack said, rubbing his leg.

Kate took a cold compress, made from Jack's old T-shirt, and dabbed Charlie's face.


	2. A Prayer for Help

Kate and Jack decided to take turns watching over Charlie that night. They made a makeshift bed for him so he could sleep, since he hadn't slept since being taken back to the caves. Kate helped Charlie onto the bed and wrapped him in a warm blanket.

"Just close your eyes," she said. "Just relax, Charlie. I'll be here all night, OK."

"I'll be here all night," that's what Charlie told Claire. "I'll be here all night. Won't let anything happen to you." But something did happen to her. Claire was missing. Missing. And pregnant. She was carrying a baby, the same baby Charlie had felt move days before. What is going to happening to that precious child? Charlie pondered. Charlie began to feel fear, his heart began to pound, her stomach began to churn, and he began to shake when he felt someone touch him. From the light from the fire, Charlie saw two hands on either side of his shoulders. Immediately, he felt something he hadn't felt in months...peace. Peace had come from this person's hands and wrapped itself around Charlie like a massive blanket, penetrating his very soul. It felt wonderful. So wonderful that the fear flew away and allowed Charlie to sleep, so Charlie turned over, sank his head in the pillows and fell asleep. He slept the whole night undisturbed.

As Charlie slept, Rose sat on a blanket a few feet away. She smiled, sweetly as he slept. Then, she looked up to the sky, closed her eyes, and whispered, "Thank You, Jesus for the peace You've given Charlie." Then, she opened her eyes and watched Charlie for the rest of the night.

The morning sun rose up and shot it's rays through the trees and onto Charlie's face, giving him a gentle wake-up.

"Morning, Charlie," said Kate, who was up and already, gathering firewood. 

"Morning, Kate," he responded. Carefully, Charlie sat up and lifted his shirt to see the extent of his bruises. He groaned as he saw that half of his stomach was covered in black and blues from the intensive CPR.

"Hey, Charlie, how are you this morning?" asked Jack.

Charlie took a breath which caused his stomach to hurt.

"Ow!" he said, grabbing his stomach. "Well, it hurts when I take deep breaths." He stopped to breathe simply and even that caused some pain.

Jack eased Charlie back onto the blanket and placed cold compress on the bruises.

As Jack placed the compresses on him, Charlie looked up at the sky and the surroundings; he seemed very pensive, deep in thought.

Jack was so concerned that he asked, "Charlie, what's on your mind?"

Charlie kept looking around and he responded, "Just thinking how nice it is here, with the sun out, shining through the trees. I was thinking that last time I saw a morning this beautiful was the day I convinced Claire to move to the caves." The mentioned of the word, "Claire" brought worry to Charlie.

"Has anyone, you know," he stammered, trying to find out about Claire.

Jack looked at him and shook his head, "no". "Sorry, man," he answered. "We haven't found her."

Feeling sadness resurrect in him, Charlie rubbed his eyes and buried his face in his hands. Jack knew the painful guilt Charlie was feeling, so he sat next to Charlie and wrapped his arm around Charlie's shoulders and said, "Hey, man. Everything's going to be all right. We're going to find Claire."

"It's been three days, Jack," said Charlie, sadness. "Locke, Boone, Sayid, and even Sawyer have gone looking for her and no one has come up with anything." Feeling shy, Charlie leaned in to Jack, so no one would hear. "Jack, I'm scared," he admitted. "I'm so afraid what might have happened to her and the baby."

Wanting desperately to calm Charlie's fears, Jack looked into Charlie's eyes and spoke very firmly. "Don't think that way," he ordered. "Everything's going to be all right. We're going to find Claire and her baby and they will be all right."

Charlie nodded at Jack. "Everything will be OK," Charlie repeated, trying his hardest to put on a brave face. Jack must of bought it, because he smiled, finished checking on his bruises, and let Charlie alone. Charlie decided to take a walk to the beach, to bathe himself. Kate accompanied him, as she too needed to check on the others.

As Charlie and Kate made their way to the beach, Rose watched from a distance. Even from that spot, she could tell that Charlie was doubtful about Claire. She studied his face and came to the conclusion that Charlie had no faith in the fact that Claire and the baby were all right. Also, she had concluded from the past three days that Charlie was holding in more guilt and sadness than he let on. Rose recalled having that feeling occasionally; feeling guilty that she was the one alive and her husband was dead. Then, she reached on her neck to touch the necklace that she had been given as a Christmas present; it had her husband's ring and a cross next to it. Every time she felt that guilt or any thing, she would reach and touch the cross and ring, as a reminder. Somehow, she would feel better. She looked at the cross and had an idea. She looked for John Locke, a mysterious man on the island for help.


	3. The Rosary Beads

Mr. Locke was chopping wood just a few feet away. Rose hadn't really spoken with Mr. Locke and she felt a little shy about asking him to do this for her. She was worried that he wouldn't know how to create what Rose wanted or even if he would feel comfortable creating this. What Rose wanted Locke to do was to make Charlie a pair of Rosary Beads, which was a part of Charlie's Catholic faith. Rose had a hidden reason for why she wanted the Rosary beads made.

"Mr. Locke?" she called.

Locke stopped and turned to see Rose. "Yes, Rose, right?" he asked, making sure he got her name correctly.

"Yes," she said, smiling. "I was wondering if you would do me a favor, Mr. Locke."

"It's John," he said, with a smile. "What do you need?"

Rose took a breath and decided to ask. "Well, um, you know about Charlie," she said.

John nodded sadly. "Yes, it's terrible what's he been through with the beating and everything," he said, sympathetically.

"Yes, well, I was thinking since you're good with wood, I was wondering if-" she was having a hard time asking this; suddenly afraid of rejection.

Locke looked at her and asked, "Wondered if I could what?"

Rose felt doubtful but she asked anyway. "Make some Rosary beads for Charlie," she said. "Charlie's Catholic and I figured maybe having something close would help him deal with the pain."

"I don't think so," he said as he turned back to the wood.

"Please!!" she yelled. "Please, John," she pleaded. "I'm so worried about Charlie."

"So am I," he agreed. "But I don't think Charlie's the most religious man-"

"It's not about religion," she said, calmly. Her eyes seemed caring "It's about Charlie realizing that there's something higher and bigger than him. It's about taking away the guilt he has in his heart." Tears filled her eyes and John knew from that look how passionate Rose was about this, how much she cared for Charlie.

"OK, I'll make them for you," he said.

Rose's tears of concern came to tears of happiness. Overjoyed, Rose gave John a huge hug and said, "Thank you, John! Thank you so much!"

John laughed and hugged her back.


	4. Hope for a Broken Spirit

Locke felt good about making the Rosary Beads. "You know, I'm not a religious man but if this could help Charlie, then, I'm all for it."

Rose smiled and thanked Locke. Soon, Locke began work on the Rosary Beads. He needed some help on how many beads for each prayer, i.e, The Our Father and the Hail Mary's. Within a matter of minutes, the Rosary Beads were done and they were beautiful.

"I have to admit," said Locke. "My best work ever."

"I agree," said Rose.

John gently placed the beads in her hand and gave her hand a squeeze. "Good luck, Rose."

Grateful, Rose squeezed his hand back and said, "Thank you, John for doing this. It means so much to me that you want to help Charlie."

John returned the smile and Rose began to walk away.

Rose walked to Charlie's bedding area and saw that Charlie wasn't there.

"He's at the beach," answered Kate, who had come back to fill up some water bottles.

"Thank you, Kate," she smiled as she began to walk.

Kate wanted to know what Rose was up to. She had seen Rose kneeling beside Charlie, the next before.

"Rose, may I ask what you've been doing with Charlie?" she asked as the two walked in the jungle. "I know you've been kneeling by his side and, you know—"

"Praying," she finished. She could tell that Kate felt uneasy about this situation. "You don't pray, do you?" Rose asked.

Kate was uneasy. "No, I don't," she admitted. I mean, I like to believe there's a Higher Power."

There is," said Rose, smiling.

"You know for sure," she said quietly. Kate wasn't getting on Rose's case. She really wanted to know more.

"Yes, I know for sure," she said. "I know that a lot of people on the island that don't believe but I do. With everything that had happened, I see why people would question while I still want to believe but I do. I've lost my husband and I'm on this island without my friends and family." She looked teary but she bravely continued. "I need my God to get through the tough times. He gives me peace and comfort."

"That's what Charlie needs right now," said Kate.

Rose nodded in agreement. "That's why I've been praying for Charlie, kneeling by his bedside. I'm just trying to show him that you don't need to live your life in guilt; that beauty can come from the ashes."

Kaye looked at Rose through tear-filled eyes; it was beautiful to see that for all her grief and anguish, that's how much hope and solace she had…and that's what Charlie needed.


	5. Too Much

Kate walked Rose to the beach where Sayid was helping Charlie bathe. Charlie was experiencing a lot of discomfort walking, as a result of the broken ribs, so Sayid had to carry him and help him bathe. And Charlie hated every minute of it, nothing against Sayid; he was being so helpful but Charlie felt like a child, with Sayid cupping the water and putting it on Charlie. Despite the baby ness he felt, Charlie did take some comfort in the water; as Sayid wet Charlie's body, Charlie felt the coolness of the water on his body, feeling the wind lightly dry his skin. As good as the Pacific water felt, it didn't feel as good as a warm bubble bath would have been right now. Charlie remembered Claire talking about what way she was going to give birth. She mentioned that she was thinking about water birth, in which the mother sits in a portable tub, with warm water and give birth to the baby. Claire mentioned that a water birth would be beneficial to her because the warm water would ease the labor pains and that the baby is already in water when in the womb. Labor, that's what Claire would be going into, Jack told Kate and Charlie that Claire was due to give birth within 2 weeks.

Once again, Charlie felt these thoughts trigger fear in him. He was terrified of what Ethan was to do once Claire went into labor. An island is no place to have a baby, no matter how beautiful the island maybe. Claire should be in that hot tub, in a hospital with her doctors and friends and family and Charlie. But she wasn't and it was his entire fault. Charlie couldn't take this anymore. The terror that was in him had turned into anger; he was angry that the search party hadn't found Claire, angry that he didn't know what was happening to her; most of all, Charlie was angry at himself that he didn't protect her like he said he would. The anger was building up and Charlie looked up at the sky and screamed, "Why did this happen, God? Why? I want to know!!!" Sayid, who was standing with Charlie, was taken aback by his sudden outburst. Worried, Sayid asked, "Charlie, are you all right?"

"Yes! I'm fine!" he screamed, pushing himself away from Sayid's embrace. "Can everyone just leave me alone? I'm not a bloody child!" Angry, Charlie slapped the water, causing the water to splash Sayid. Charlie was beginning to walk, when he felt intense pain come from his stomach. He moaned and then, began to whimper as he fell into the water, clenching his throbbing stomach. Sayid called Jack and Boone and the three men lifted carefully carried Charlie out of the water, with Charlie still clenching his stomach, tears of frustration and anguish making their way down his face. He didn't even bother to wipe them away; he couldn't take it anymore, the guilt and pain of Claire's missing, and the physical pain of his near-death hanging. It was too much too bare for him so he let the tears come down as he whimpered, silently.

Rose watched as the three men carried Charlie out of the water and onto the makeshift bed from the caves (Kate had ran to get it for Charlie). She felt her heart break in two as she saw Charlie wince in pain and grab his stomach; and as she saw the tears come down. Rose immediately connected with Charlie. She saw herself in him; she had felt grief and blame of her husband's death, anger that she didn't have the answers to why he was gone. Rose closed her eyes, extended her hands, and began to pray. "Lord Jesus, please take the anger away from this beautiful child and give him peace. Heal him of the pain, emotional and physical. Heal him in the name of Jesus. Amen."

Rose opened her eyes and instantly, saw Charlie continued to wince, the tears still coming down. Rose didn't worry; she knew God answered prayers in His own time, so she smiled and walked away.


	6. Mummy

A few hours later, nighttime was upon the island and it was truly magnificent. It was cloudless, the first time in a while, there were about a million stars in the sky and the moon was full and huge. It looked so peaceful and calm but not everyone was feeling those emotions. Charlie was definitely one of them. After nearly collapsing in the water, Charlie had to be carried back to the beach by Sayid, Boone, and Jack while Kate ran back to get the makeshift bed that Charlie had been sleeping on. The three men placed Charlie on the bed and Jack began examining him. Jack carefully lifted Charlie's shirt and saw that the swelling on Charlie's stomach had intensified and the black and blues had gotten darker which was a clear indication that the break in his ribs was worst than Jack thought. Jack couldn't do much on the island, so he took an old shirt of his, ripped it in gauze-size pieces, and dipped them in the basin of cold water he had Sayid get for him. Then, he and Kate, who was sitting and trying to comfort Charlie, placed the water on the bruises in an effort to bring down the swelling which didn't do much good. In a final effort, Jack took some cloths and placed them on the bruises and then, placed some pillows on top to ease the intense discomfort Charlie was feeling. _Intense discomfort_ was an understatement to what Charlie was feeling. Charlie couldn't roll over, sit up or even breathe without his ribs causing pain. Not only that, Charlie's neck was starting to get sore again. His neck had been hurting on and off since the hanging but the cuts were starting to heal with the help of some first aid cream. Still, the pain was unbearable. And Charlie wondered how much he could take; not only with the physical pain but the emotional pain as well. For the first time, Charlie felt alone on the island. He felt like he couldn't talk to anyone or share what he was feeling. And it was killing him, making him feel worse. He didn't know what to do, how to make himself feel better, so he carefully laid down, feeling pain with every movement. Charlie laid and looked up at the beautiful sky and a thought, a memory came into his head. The memory was so clear; it was Manchester, his hometown, in the little house that he grew up with his mum, dad and older brother, Liam. The house was nothing to sing about; it was old, with broken windows, and a low ceiling. But Charlie loved it because of the love in it. Charlie cracked a smile as he thought about his mummy. She was like an angel, so sweet and kind and loving and she looked like one too, with beautiful green eyes and long, honey-colored blond hair. Charlie remembered playing in the backyard with her when Liam was at soccer practice. It was their special time together, when his mummy would push him in the swings and he would go high up in the air and squeal and laugh. His mummy would take him in her arms and spin him around. She would bring out tea and biscuits and the two would have tea outside. And the two did that every afternoon. It was wonderful and then, his dad came home. Charlie recalled the fear that entered his soul as his dad would storm in the backyard, after a long, hard day of work, tired and hungry.. and angry. Angry that the house wasn't clean to his liking, angry that dinner wasn't warm enough, angry that Charlie and Liam left their toys out, angry at everyone and everything. Unfortunately, he would take his anger out on the family, screaming at Charlie, Liam, and their mum. And he would hit them. Charlie remembered one day, when he forgot to put away his toy truck. Charlie ran to put it away when he found his dad holding it. Charlie remembered his dad's face filled with enrage, as he took the toy truck and threw it out the window, break the glass. His dad grabbed Charlie, a fragile boy of five, by the ear and screamed at him, "Didn't I tell you to put your toys away?! Don't you think, you stupid!!!" Then, he slapped Charlie in the face, resulting in a bloody lip. His mummy, who was out food shopping, came in, dropped the bags and scooped him in her arms and took him to his room. Charlie recalled feeling so scared and terrified of his dad and an overwhelming amount of blame, thinking the beating was his fault. He said, "Mummy, it's my fault I get hit. I shouldn't have made Daddy mad. I shouldn't have left my toy truck out."

His mummy would take him in her arms and hugged him tightly. "No, no, Charlie boy," she gently cooed. "It's not your fault. Daddy's just in a bad mood."

"I'm stupid," he said, bursting into tears.

"No, no you are not stupid," she said, firmly. "You're not stupid. You're a very smart boy. You're my beautiful, glorious little boy, you're my Charlie boy. And I love you."

Charlie smiled through his tears, feeling better. His mummy cleaned him up and stayed with him until he feel asleep, singing his favorite lullaby, "Hush, little baby". Charlie recalled his feelings changing from fear and blame to happiness and peace. And love. Charlie felt so much love and care from his mummy, that love and care got him through the tough moments in life, whenever he felt sad or unsure of himself. He always had his mummy to tell him how good he was, how much she loved him….until she died from breast cancer when he was a young man. It was at that point, on the island, lost, scared, and beaten, that he began to miss his mummy. He looked up to the sky and felt a tears slip down his cheek. "Mummy," he whispered into the sky. "Mummy, can you hear me? I'm scared, I'm so scared. I don't know what's happening to me. Mummy, I need you. Why aren't you here when I need you?"

"She's here in your heart," said a voice. "She's here in spirit."

Charlie looked up and saw Rose standing there, with a blanket wrapped around her


	7. Help Me, God

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to eavesdrop," she said, smiling.

"No, no," he replied, hastily wiping his tears. "It's OK."

Rose felt a little apprehensive about talking to Charlie, knowing that he may not be up to conversation but she decided to try anyway. Someone needed to get through to him.

"May I sit with you?" she asked.

"Well, yes, but I'm afraid I won't be much company," he said, staring into his folded hands.

Rose took this as a good sign; at least Charlie didn't say no.

Rose sat and looked at this broken young man.

"How are you, Charlie?" she asked.

"I'll be 27 in April," he answered.

"Well, you look older," she replied.

Charlie smiled a bit. "Yeah, well, I never got that when I was a kid," he explained. "People always thought that I looked younger for my age."

"Seems that people experience things that make them feel older," she explained. "Like they grow up before their time. I feel that right now."

"How?" he asked.

"With my husband gone," she began tear up. "It wasn't supposed to be like this. We were just celebrating our 25 wedding anniversary in Sydney, something we always wanted do. He had just retired and we wanted to travel around the world, take a cruise, see England, go to Italy."

"I toured there with my band, Drive Shaft, it really beautiful," Charlie said.

"So I've heard," she said. "Well, we were going to start traveling after we flew back to LA, you know take care of a few things, but..." Her voice trailed off."

"The plane crash," he responded.

Rose nodded silently, tears coming down. Despite his own grief, Charlie reached over and took her hand.

Rose looked up and smiled through her tears. Bravely, she continued talking. "It's just now that I'm starting to begin to comprehend the fact that my husband's gone."

Feeling a lump grow in his throat, Charlie whispered, "I'm so sorry, Rose."

"Bless you, child," she said, warmly, rubbing his hand.

Charlie looked at her and felt a connection starting to form. After a few minutes of silence, Charlie asked, "How are you dealing with the fact?"

Rose smiled and closed her eyes as she lovingly spoke. "Well, I think about all the wonderful times we had together. Our first date, when he proposed to me, our wedding, the birth of our daughters. And I pray."

Charlie looked at her in shock. Pray. That's a word he hadn't heard in a long time.

"I pray every night for him, for God to hold him and for God to give me strength because I need it," she explained, looking into the sky. Then, she looked at Charlie and asked, "Do you pray?"

Charlie looked down, ashamed. "No," he responded. "No, I don't. Not anymore."

"What do you mean?" she asked.

Charlie rubbed his eyes and said, "I used to be a religious man, I was raised Catholic in England, you know, Catholic school, altar boy, the whole nine yards. Up until the time I was in Drive Shaft, I was praying everyday."

"With Rosary beads?" she said.

Brightened, he said, "Yes! I would carry them in my pocket and whenever, things got difficult, I would grab them and pray." Charlie began to look sad. "I got so wrapped up in the band and the drugs and everything, that I just stopped believing."

"Do you still believe in God?" she asked, seriously.

Charlie thought about that for a while. He folded his hands, looked down, and said, "No."

Rose felt saddened. "Why don't you still believe, honey?"

Charlie looked at her with tears in his eyes. "Because how could God allow all this to happen?" he whispered. "How could He allow our plane to crash in the middle of nowhere and have no one rescue us and people die in the crash and on the island?" Charlie looked down and began to cry, the pain of the last few days finally being taken out.

"How could he allow me to be kidnapped, hung on a tree, beaten and lift for dead," he said, tears rolling down his face. "How could He have allowed me to suffer like this broken ribs and not being able to walk without someone helping me?

" And how could He allow me to meet a beautiful, gentle woman, Claire, and give her such a wonderful gift, a sweet baby and have some monster kidnapped her, no where to be found? No one to help her give birth, no one to help her at all." Charlie's cries began to change to sobs.

"It's all my fault," he managed to speak between sobs. "I shouldn't have talked to Ethan, I should have gone straight to Jack but I didn't want to leave Claire alone, in labor. I should have fought harder against this guy. I shouldn't have let him take her. I should have-I should have-" Charlie couldn't take it anymore, he couldn't speak, he just cried and sobbed, his chest heaving and his shoulders bobbing up and down.

Feeling tears of her own, Rose wrapped her arms around him and held him close. She placed his head on her shoulder and left him cry. Charlie cried for a long time, letting all the sadness, pain, and guilt being release from his soul.

Rose patted him on the back, and rubbed him and soothed him, careful of his broken ribs. "It's all right," she said, softly. "It's all right, baby boy." Rose hugged him for a while and just comforted him

"No, it's not," he said, miserably. "It's not all right. Claire's missing, she's lost somewhere, and there's nothing that anybody can do about it."

"No, no," she said, caressing his tear-strained face. "There is something you can do about it."

Charlie looked at her and he knew what she was thinking. But he couldn't do it. "I can't," he said, beginning to cry again. "I can't pray. I've done so many horrible things. God could never forgive me."

Rose felt her heart break again and she held Charlie even tighter to herself, careful of his bruises. "Baby, He can, He can forgive you," she pleaded. "It's doesn't matter what you have done. God loves you. You just have to believe."

Charlie looked up at her, still crying hard. "I can't believe," he murmured. "I'm not strong enough to believe. I'm not strong enough to pray, I'm not just strong enough."

Rose laid his head on her shoulder and rubbed his back.

"Heavenly Father, please help Charlie, please let him know that You love him and forgive him," she prayed. Then, she remembered the Rosary Beads!! Charlie needs the Rosary Beads now. She took the beads and placed them in Charlie's hand. Through his tears, Charlie saw the beads in his hand. 

"Hold them, baby," she pleaded. "Hold them. Let them remind you that you are loved."

Charlie looked at the beads and wrapped his hands around them, tightening them. He held them so intense that he felt something stronger holding them. He bowed his head and began to pray for the first time in long while.

"Lord, please help me," he prayed, tears rolling down his face. "I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do but I know that You can do something. I know it because I've experienced it. I've felt it, Father. I've felt Your Grace and Love, I felt it when I survived the plane crash, when I kicked drugs, even when I almost died."

That's when the knowledge of God's love broke through to his tortured soul. "I almost died. Died. But I didn't," he spoke, a trace of joy entering his voice. "I'm alive. I'm alive because You love me. You forgave me. Whether it was sleeping with women outside of marriage or doing drugs, You never left me. You never gave up on me, even when I gave up on You." Charlie opened his hands and saw the Rosary Beads. He stroked the Cross; a symbol of how much God loved him. "God, please take away the pain I feel in my heart. Please take away the guilt and sadness inside my soul. Most of all, most of all," he began to cry harder. Gripping the beads tighter, he prayed, with much vigor and courage and strength, "Watch over Claire and the baby. Hold them in Your Arms tonight. Keep them safe. Please, please, please, Father, just send Your Spirit to protect them. Let us find them. Just protect them. Amen." Charlie held the beads to his chest and let the tears flow. Rose, once again, hugged him for a while and then, gently eased him onto the makeshift bed and helped him put the pillows underneath his shirt, to help with the broken ribs. She wrapped her blanket around him and watched him sleep. Charlie, carefully, turned over and held the beads in his hands. As soon as he tightened his grip, he felt peace and solace enter his very soul. Charlie felt all the pain taken away from him, the guilt, the grief, the sadness, everything was gone and he was in God's Presence. He closed his eyes and fell asleep, once again sleeping the whole night.


	8. Amazing Grace

The next morning, Charlie woke up, with the sun on his face. He stirred and sat up when he realized………. "Wait a minute," he said, curiously. "I don't feel any pain." He lifted up his shirt to find…the black and blues were gone!!!! He touched his stomach, lightly and then, hard. "Oh my gosh!" he squealed, jumping up and down. "I'm healed! I'm healed."

Jack ran over and said, "Charlie, are you OK?"

"Better than OK," he said, happily. He lifted his shirt and Jack examined his stomach. After a few minutes, he said, "Charlie, I don't know but last night, this whole side was bruised really badly and now, your ribs are fine. From what I can tell, they healed."

Charlie smiled and said, "I'm healed."

Jack smiled and said, "I can't believe I'm saying this but it's a miracle."

Tears in his eyes, Charlie said, "You bet."

Charlie spent the morning resting. He even felt strong enough to search for Claire. Nothing yet but Charlie didn't let that discourage him. He just held his beads in his jean pocket and silently prayed.

That night, Charlie sat by the fire, with his guitar by his side.

"Hello there," said Rose.

"Hi, Rose," he replied as she sat next to him.

"Listen, I never thanked you for staying with me and pray for me and everything," he said, with gratitude.

"No problem," she smiled. "I'm glad you realized how much faith you have."

"And thanks for these," he held the Rosary beads, "they're really beautiful."

"Well, seems that you lost your faith and now, you've found it," she said.

That's when it hit Charlie. Lost and found. That really did describe his whole transformation since coming onto the island. He looked at his guitar and had an idea.

"You know, I don't think you heard me play guitar before," he said.

"No, I haven't," she said.

"Well, let me play a song that my mum sung to me when I was little," he said. "She sung it a lot in our house when things got difficult. This always gave her comfort and strength."

Charlie picked up his guitar and strummed along. And he began to sing.

**Amazing grace! How sweet the sound**

**That saved a wretch like me.**

**I once was lost, but now am found,**

**Was blind, but now I see.**

**'Twas grace that taught my heart to fear,**

**And grace my fears relieved.**

**How precious did that grace appear**

**The hour I first believed.**

**Through many dangers, toils and snares**

**I have already come;**

**'Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far**

**And grace will lead me home.**

**The Lord has promised good to me**

**His word my hope secures;**

**He will my shield and portion be,**

**As long as life endures.**

**Yea, when this flesh and heart shall fail,**

**and mortal life shall cease,**

**I shall possess within the veil,**

**A life of joy and peace.**

**When we've been there ten thousand years**

**Bright shining as the sun,**

**We've no less days to sing God's praise**

**Than when we've first begun.**

Charlie finished and he and Rose both had tears in their eyes. Charlie reached over and hugged her tight. "Thank you," he whispered. "Thank you, Rose."'

"Your welcome, baby," she said, giving him a kiss.

Soon, it was time for bed. Chalrie laid on the bed, fingering the beads. Looking up into the sky, tears in his eyes, he prayed again. "Thank You, God. Thank You for healing me. Thank You for giving me peace and strength. Thank You for forgiving me and loving me even though I don't deserve it. Thanks for Rose and Jack and Kate and Claire and all the other beautiful people here. Thanks for bringing me back to You. I love You. Amen."

Before Charlie went to sleep, he prayed again. "Please continue to watch over Claire. Let her feel Your Love and Grace. Let her know that You love her and so do I. Thank You. Amen."

Charlie turned and went to sleep, holding his faith-and his Rosary beads- close to his soul.

THE END


End file.
